I can’t believe how surprised I am with how difficult university is! I wasn’t expecting it to be easy peasy but with the lack of the excitement I felt last year, the contrast seems to be getting to me! Ahhhh, I don’t have a single clue what to do! Honestly, I only have two exams left and I just feel so overwhelmed. I didn’t get a chance to find a studying strategy that works for me, neither did I get a chance to get involved.

One thing, however, has lived up to its expectations. Meeting so many new people! I've met some very amazing people so far, and there is no shortage of these meetings either. There's one thing that I just adore: shaking hands with people. I don't know why, but doing that just seems right as an introduction, you know? I don't know, I don't want to seem pompous or weird or something, but I just think it's a nice primer, if that makes any sense. So if your acquaintance becomes a friendship, then it was a nice, official sort of start. And if it doesn't, what the hay, at least it was a nice introduction nonetheless. And I've just had a bucketful of the nicest experiences, among the few not-so-nice ones. But nothing's perfect.

On the other hand, I'm very excited for next term, if I pass this term at least. Philosophy and Psychology!!! I hope they live up to what I expect, but I've already heard some strange things that reduce the amount of looking-forwardness I have at any set moment in time.

I need a break from all this studying! And good thing Christmas break is very close by. I have this awful habit of planning things at every possible open slot of time I have. It's kind of disgusting. And Christmas break is no exception. I'm thinking of redoing my room, colour and furniture and everything since we moved a few months ago, because the clay-resembling walls are getting to me.

Seriously, look:



That colour seriously needs changing. Right? Let's shake on it. It makes it look like I'm trying to make some post-post^∞modern statement by making my room mock mudhuts or something. I don't know. (And for the record, that book is AWESOME. And please excuse my ugly hands.) I'm thinking something bright, and a post-modern-esque feel, without being too minimalist. Any room renovations ideas, secrets, whatevers are welcome!

(It's been over a year! I hope you've all been awesome.)

You know how people ask you little personal tidbits about hypothetical situations, and then you're confused forever because they all deal with such important issues and you're so sensitive about it. You think it matters so much, and perhaps it might matter just as much to the person asking it, but they always seem to have it all figured out.

And you love them, you really do, because if you didn't, they wouldn't be asking you questions like these. But you also hate them because they're not confused like you are. It makes you feel stupid, literally, because they're relatively the same age as you and have the same amount of experience. And you promptly ignore the value of each of your experiences, because why should it matter? So, you hate them for it, but that's just because you're trying to justify your jealousy to yourself. But you can't, not unless you end up deluding yourself into thinking that, really, being as just as impressionable and susceptible as you are, they're only thinking that they have it figured out and you easily, for your own sake, discard their confidence for pompousness.

But the entire time, you know you still don't really know what you think and you're trying to think of a way to justify your novice and unjustified opinion on the subject that you've just picked for the sake of having something to say when someone asks you. Only because it's the only opinion you know that makes you feel decidedly different, that makes you feel as if you may actually know what you're talking about. In actuality, you think you know that the other person knows you're just putting on a farce because anything that sounds "decidedly different" is ridiculous. It makes you feel like you've just reverted back to to the clique where people aren't smart and opinionated and that you don't really belong with this person, and you have no idea what they're doing here wasting their time talking to you.

In the end though, you're still just as far as you were before you were asked the question, just as stupid, just as confused. You end up either voicing that stupid unjustified opinion or you mutter a tidbit which makes you feel as if you're so quick-witted to have hidden the clincher from your answer. If you do the second, you know it's just complaisance because even though you answered the question, you didn't really voice the reason behind anything. You answered for the sake of answering. It's the same either way; the first just makes you sound stupid, and the other conforming. You still haven't voiced you, and it's because you don't even know what you think.

Do you know? No? Because I feel as if I know this everyday despite the fact I don't really know anything. And I don't do anything to change.

Okay. This is the geekiest thing ever, but Google Chrome is live, and it seems nothing short of awesome. Seriously. It's all pretty and blue and cute and very Google. Some of the features that I am immensely excited about are listed below in order of importance and awesomeness (from greatest to least).

1. Tab-Independent Browsing
   This one has its upsides and downsides, but let me assure you, the upsides are far superior for the downsides to detriment them. Chrome runs a separate process for each of your tabs (if you don't know what those are and still use IE6, plz2come to the 21^st century); so, if one crashes, the others are still intact. No random crashing when you're typing up a novella-length livejournal post about your boyfriend-who-wasn't-really-a-boyfriend who moved to Alaska because you opened a link which happened to have a massive flash advert on it!
2. Truly Chrome Interface
   Chrome superimposes your tab bar on your title bar, thereby reducing space used for non-content items. And it also is "transparent", meaning that it gets rid of borders and random spacing you don't require and gives you maximum space for the page you're viewing. The status bar also only appears when you hover over a link or something is loading. Also, when tabs open and close, they're animated prettily.
3. The Omni Bar
   The Omni bar, or rather, the address bar as you may be familiar with it, in Chrome is called that because of its ability to act as a search bar and an address bar at the same time. It's just type and go!
4. New Tab Interface
   On the opening of a blank new tab, it shows you your recently closed tab, your most visited pages, and your recent actions. You can even search your browsing history right there!
5. Application Shortcuts
   This isn't the bees knees, but it's pretty cool if you've got yourself a dock, or a dock mockup or whatever since you can just open your web-apps independent of your random web-surfing (the practise aptly named "site-specific browsing"). I was going to get something like Bubbles for it, but no need anymore!

I know, right? It's pretty awesome so far. (And I wasn't even paid for this public service announcement.) There are a few tiny shortcomings which I suppose are the result of the feature being a conformity issue across most browsers. Naturally, though, it is a conformity for good reason. (I'm just shitting with you; all I really miss is the right click option of setting an image as my desktop background.) So, you know, go get it.

ETA: Oooh, built-in spell checker too!

Can you believe there are barely two more days of summer left? I'm devastated. All I've done is learn the meaning of the word "quantum," possibly develop a crush on my Physics teacher, read an amazing amount of chick lit, missed all the people that actually went on vacation—unlike, you know, me, and gain more pounds than I care to count. (Actually, I'm lying. I've gained 15-20 pounds in the summer alone. And lost, and then regained. It's ridiculous.) Isn't that just awful? The only summer before high school ends and I've done about as much as a cockroach. I'm like a parasite: living on other people's resources.

To be honest, I'm just dreading even writing about this. And this time, it's not because I'll lose my dignity or something for having read Twilight (because, to be honest, I don't even know what dignity is). I'm just worried I won't be able to write a completely unbigoted review because I haven't exactly pulled my thoughts together yet. but fear that I never will. And as they say, better sooner than later. Here I go; sorry julie_t1. All I have to say to make you not hate me is that at first, I actually didn't hate Twilight (the book) but the next three went and ruined my experience. So you know, I'm not generally this derisive and mocking.

Let me start by stating the obvious. I read the first one and ended up not loathing it, thinking that perhaps Stephenie Meyer might pull it up a notch in the next one. After all, people are more known to better themselves with time than they are to worsen themselves. I bet you already know where I'm taking this.

I just started reading Twilight (by, you know, Stephenie Meyer) to see what the hype was about. I know, please kill me now. I was already half-dead from humiliation when I picked up the book and placed it in my bag two hours ago. I'm determined to never let anyone I know see me reading the book. It's just a shame that my Physics textbook probably won't even cover the darned thing.

Also, I don't like Robert Pattinson. He looks like a hobo. Sheesh, just go take a shower. They're not exactly expensive or time-consuming. </superficiality>

Now, I must go and prepare asphyxiation methods for myself in the (not very) rare case that I actually end up liking the book.

Having a lack of things to talk about renders me absolutely chronically talkative about life and stuff. And that is also the most ironic thing to do in the whole world, and it also automatically gets nominated for the "top 10 lamest things you've done in your life" list. But you know, it's like the "irony is the new black" thing, which is too tempting for its own good, as is hypocrisy. It would be almost as ironic as if I found out that I was pregnant or something at this very moment. (Hello, it's the department store calling. We have condoms.) Or that I was secretly a part of a pregnancy pact at my school. And then when, nine months later, I'm sitting down on my bed with a fucking baby on my lap suckling me, I'll think it's obviously the fault of Juno/Ellen Page. Duh. Since following pop culture and doing the things they do in movies to be cool and whatever is something a) tempting only to fuckheads, and b) I'm your friendly neighbourhood preacher of doing unstupid things.

Rant on THIS aside, exams are over! Why else do you think I actually found the time to read some random obscure newspaper on the Internet about the stupidity of teenagers? To feel inconsequential, out of the circle, suicidal? Ha. Ha ha ha. Either way, now that exams are over, you'd think I'd be stress free. Unfortunately, you'd be wrong. Sadism is a cult religiously practised at my school, I'll have you know, practised and preached most prominently by teachers. I'm just scared I'll fall into it next year. Hopefully, I'll be too busy to.

On another note, I have found the purpose to life, the universe, and everything. Or at least life anyway. ( And no, it's not 42. )

Hi, yes, can we sit and talk for a moment? No, no, I'm not about to kidnap you or anything. Oh no, I'm also not here to bug the crap out of you, but really that seems to be up to debate since it's really personal preference what you call crap and what you don't. Either way, I think we need to find some sort of fatal flaw in you that isn't attractive. Oh no, it's certainly not for me. It's for my friend who is hopelessly infatuated with you for no bloody reason and making me seem just as much a hypocrite as a person can possibly be. I call her heart. She was just born when I saw you. Unfortunately.

I'm so lame, and clearly a product of a capitalist society. I mean, it should be so much more difficult to convince someone to join an ad-infested community with a monochromatic interface. But no. I mean, there has to be a reason I'm that easily convinced. Maybe I just lack backbone.

Either way, here's to your super-persuasive skills, Finni. And here's to adding another source of procrastination to my already ginormous amount of work. Because that's fun. (That's what House's face pertains to.)

Either way, now, since it's all *milestone*-esque as this is my first LJ entry, I'll go and tell you about the meaningless process of doing meaningless things. See, I think I'm oh-so-smart and cynical, and therefore being a hypocrite will not make me look stupid. Therefore titling my lj "purposefully meaningless" will only strike as intentionally ironic, labelling me as a literary genius.  Which I'm not. That would explain my vomit-inducing mark in my comprehension tests.

Also, if you're wondering, snye is only special because it's short, and as soon as I searched it I said to myself: "OMG, so all four letter words in English aren't already taken in Livejournal." How awesome is that? By the way, I'm too lame to actually make it mean anything. But you know, if you want a psych trip, it means something along the lines of a channel than joins two rivers. Hence, if you really want to be optimistic and think of me as more intellectual and caring, you can think of me as a people-person who likes to interconnect with different members of society and connect those members of society and make the world a better place. Yes, I am totally shitting with you. And on a totally unrelated note, yes, I do talk with that many emphases IRL.

By the way, I'm very excited by the prospects of my joining Livejournal, or ell-jay community (read: cult). I can be all typical-teenager and say: "So, I posted this article thing on my ell-jay about like, capital punishment, right, since it's so important and whatever in this world? And then this loserrr replied to me and was all 'LOL, I totally agree.' and I was all, 'Go get your own opinion, 'tard.' And then he was all butthurt, and I laughed like the Nietzsche-following sheep that I am."